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— 14 things to remember in a relationship (via february4teenth)

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HOW TO STAY IN LOVE:

1. Tell your partner that you love them every day. You are not only reminding them, you are primarily reminding yourself. They say that the people who say ‘I love you’ the most are the happiest. And they’re right. Get creative: find more ways to say it. I love you. Je t’aime. Te amo. My love. My one and only. Love you. Te quiero.

2. Don’t forget to have more low-key dates now and then. Sure, going to a fancy hotel restaurant is nice, but the next day you might be aware of all the crystals missing from your chandelier. There’s a certain comfort in picking up your loved one from the airport or eating at a nearby food court. It’s like saying, ‘Hey, you turn a regular experience in to an exciting one. With you, there’s no such thing as unhappy.’

3. The best moment to consolidate your relationship is when our loved one is going through a difficult time. For some, that is a time of high tension, but it really doesn’t have to be. When your partner is down, you learn to make their life brighter from the inside instead of trying to change external factors. You can’t control the fact that they got fired from their job or that their uncle passed away—but you can control what you bring to their life. What better excuse to be a bundle of sunshine?

4. Make cheating as unthinkable as incest. If you are truly in love, you will not be able to kiss someone else without tasting your loved one’s tears as they stain your lips. You will not be able to take your clothes off with someone else without feeling like a field ripped bare to its soil. Make cheating a dealbreaker for you and assume that it is for your partner too.

5. Make their desires your own. If they want to go to college in a different state, don’t sabotage them. If they fantasize about you in a certain way, turn their desires to reality. If they like how you look in a dress and you prefer jeans, wear dresses more often. You don’t have to change yourself in order to make compromises. You don’t have to lose yourself while trying to find your loved one.

6. See their side of the story. Even if it’s 2 a.m. and they’re accusing you of things you never thought you were capable of doing, sit quiet for a moment and listen to what they’re actually saying. Let go of your defensive wall and think about the impact your actions has on your loved one. Always empathize.

7. Give your loved one random presents. If you’re going to the mall, pick up a flirty gift. If you’re on vacation, buy them a souvenir that means something to them. If you’re going to Starbucks, order their favorite drink. Little gestures go a long way.

8. Dream about the future—but realistically. Don’t tell your loved one you can’t wait to get married after five months, but give them hints that you’re committed. Examples can be making plans for your anniversary, preparing surprises for Valentine’s Day, and letting them know you want to go to the next step. ‘I know we’ve slept together, but you’ve never stayed the night. I’d like to try that.’ It’s not about going fast—it’s about going slow but doing so with passion.

9. Spice things up constantly. Keep both yourself and your partner on your tiptoes by going to new places, trying new positions, changing up your dynamics, using new idioms, etc. Put the two of you in new territory so that you can feel like you’re always learning something new about each other. This way, it will be difficult to ever feel like strangers, because you will have gotten accustomed to watching each other grow, change, and be exposed to new situations.

10. Get to know where they come from. It’s useless trying to love someone without considering their family, background, and past experiences. Slowly break away any boundaries between the two of you and let yourself see even the ugliest parts of your loved one. A realistic relationship is almost guaranteed to function while a superficial one isn’t. You can’t love someone independently of their environment.

doodles from French class (via goddess-river)

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— do not tell her you love her. Krystal Gonzalez   (via pestan)

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— Haruki Murakami   (via shonaaak)

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Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.
catscuddlingandyou  (via blissfullyamiss)

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i.
a girl’s feet will tangle yours under sheets you just bought for a night like this. the price tag is still glued to the plastic wrapping stuffed underneath the bed. her feet are frigid and feel like frostbite against your legs when you fall asleep, but they’re like mittens roasted over a fire when the sun blinks through the curtains.

ii.
a girl’s legs are taut and thick. they’re flexible and enclose you in a straightjacket at 2 am when they knot around your waist and pull you just a little closer. if she’s still sleeping, it’s even better.

iii.
her thighs will make you forget about your calculus homework and your french exam. they will make you forget about your father’s affair or your best friend’s disorders. they will make you forget your name and they will make you forget who you are without them. hold them as tight as you can. i promise, she loves it.

iv.
when you were in fourth grade, they taught you stop, drop, and roll at the sign of a fire. when you’re in her bedroom on the second floor, her quivering hips will trick-start a similar fire in your teeth, and you’re going to want to listen to your fourth grade teacher, but don’t. if you stop, whatever it may be that you’re doing, she might kill you.

v.
so in health class, they’re supposed to teach you that your hands will never fit somewhere like they will on a girl’s waist. it doesn’t matter if it’s wide and soft, or small and hard. your hands will adapt to her waist like the heart to your blood. they’ll feel as natural as fingers on an instrument.

vi.
sometimes you can see her ribs; sometimes you can’t. they flicker like an old grainy movie under her skin, and they feel like sharp magma in your palms. they’re structure — they protect her. hold her there if you want her to feel like this house isn’t caving in on herself.

vii.
her chest. promise her you’d never want anything more or anything less. if you don’t mean it, stop reading, and find someone else.

viii.
taste her collarbone. dip in the crevices and valleys and plant trees at the bottom. root down, cherish the nature, and never ever underestimate a girl’s collarbones. they’re a place to sleep when its -11 outside. write scripts on her collarbone. they are forever.

ix.
if you don’t know blueprints to her neck with your eyes closed from tracing it with your mouth, you’re doing it wrong. learn it. memorize it. you better know her pulse like counting with your dominant hand. kiss it like it’s her mouth. her neck will change over time, yes. but make sure you can change with it.

x.
kiss her before she brushes her teeth. make fun of her morning breath. kiss her after, and make fun of the flavor of her toothpaste. kiss her when she’s angry and throwing the vase your mother bought her, and kiss her when she can’t stand and she bubbles over with tears like hot water. kiss her if she’s laughing and tell her it’s because she makes you happy. kiss her if she won’t stop talking because you want to taste her voice. kiss her when she isn’t talking because you miss it. kiss her in the shower and kiss her everywhere. if it’s raining, kiss her, and kiss her again when she calls you a cliche. kiss her in public because you want them all to know, and kiss her in private because you don’t need them to either. god, just kiss her on the mouth. nothing else matters. just fucking kiss her.

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How To Tell If Somebody Loves You:

Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!

Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “oh my god, so sick. need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.

Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.

Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!” It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love.

Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.

Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.

Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention.

— Ryan O’Connell   (via amandalorian)

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1. When a boy who leaves goosebumps on every inch of your skin tries to play you his favorite song, don’t let him. He’ll get it stuck in your head and under your fingertips and when he leaves, you won’t be able to listen to it without feeling like you’re choking.

2. Don’t let him touch you all over no matter how much you want to feel him against you. Leave a few spots untouched so that when you’re sleeping alone again, at least your left wrist and an inch of your right hip won’t sting with the remaining burn of his mouth.

3. Don’t let him break your ribs.

4. Don’t watch the sunset with him. He’ll poison it. You won’t be able to look at the sky without swallowing a mouthful of him.

5. Don’t mistake wasps for butterflies. Sometimes when you feel your stomach flutter and your hands start to shake it’s pain, not love.

6. Just because he tells you he loves you doesn’t mean he’s going to stay.

7. It’s okay to delete his number after he kisses the pretty girl he met when he was drunk. It’s okay to leave when he hurts you. You don’t have to keep falling into him.

8. When he tells you that you’re beautiful, try to remember that you were beautiful before him too.

9. Just because he reads and smokes cigarettes and talks about the stars doesn’t mean he’s your soulmate.

10. After you kiss him, remember to wash your mouth out right away so he doesn’t burn into your tongue.

11. He’ll kiss you in the rain and take you to little coffee shops. He’ll brush your hair out of your eyes and kiss your nose. He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.

12. Your heart is going to break a million times. It’s going to feel like the world is falling apart around you. Your lungs will stop working some nights. You find yourself grabbing at your bones trying to hold yourself together. You’re going to feel like you’re dying. It’s going to be okay. You’ll find someone else to kiss you goodnight.

— for future reference (via extrasad)

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